The Oxford dictionary defines a friend as: 1) A person
with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of
sexual or family relations- a person who is not an enemy or an ally, a
contact on a social networking site or a familiar of helpful thing. 2)
Member of the Religious Society of friends; a Quaker. For the purpose
of this blog I will be discussing the first definition. First off, I
could not resist smiling to myself to see that “a contact on a social
networking site” was included as one of the definitions. (My how society
and technology has changed ) But, I was pleased to see it because there
was no way I would leave out social networking as I speak about this
topic.
The dictionary stated that a friend is someone with whom we have a bond of mutual affection. That means that friends should be close, joined together (figuratively speaking based on the definition) or binded together with the invisible cord of affection which then results in a friendship. If something is joined to you and close to you it is going to affect your life. If I tied a table to your back (ouch, I know) that table would not only cause you pain, but it will affect the way you walk, what you are able to do, places you can go and so on. It is the same way with our friendships. The friends you keep affect your life. 1 Corinthians 15:33 says, “ Do not be misled, Bad company corrupts good character.” And Proverbs 27:9 “The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.” So in other words, the friends you DECIDE to keep can either have a positive and uplifting effect on your life or a negative one that could cause hurt and ruin your reputation. We have all heard it, “Birds of a feather, flock together!” I ask you today, Who are you flying with that you need to leave behind? I wrote “decide” in caps earlier because we ultimately choose our friends. Everyone does not nor should everyone you encounter throughout your life be considered a “friend”. That does not make you mean or heartless, in no way am I saying be mean and rude to people and tell them, “Leave me alone, I can’t be your friend!”. However, what I am saying is that we must guard our hearts, minds and our lives. Your body and life should be considered a temple, a special place, you are PHENOMENAL, you were made to SHINE. As a result, we do not want someone or anything dimming you. There are some people in your life who might not support or understand your desire to do things differently or make changes in your life. Perhaps this person is consumed with drinking all the time, having sex recreationally, in trouble with the law constantly etc. How will that reflect on you? Most importantly, will their way of living or having fun make you question the decisions you have made? You are more likely to slip back into familiar patterns when you are either lonely, stressed or still surrounded by it.
Also, everyone on your friend list on facebook, or your followers on twitter, instagram etc. are NOT Your friends. You don’t have to MAKE them your friends either. The sad thing about facebook is we can add hundreds of people on our page who become “our friends” but we still struggle with finding someone to talk to when we are feeling down. Why is that? You do have over 500 friends right? That is why it is so important to build and refresh our relationships in real life not just refreshing our page to accept or add another request. Your friends should be your confidants, people who support and encourage you, a shoulder to lean on when you need it, girls who can meet up for dinner and a fun, safe night out in the town. Long story short, your friends should make you look good. If they don’t, you might want to check em’, check YOU and make some changes where necessary. Stay shining Ladies!
The dictionary stated that a friend is someone with whom we have a bond of mutual affection. That means that friends should be close, joined together (figuratively speaking based on the definition) or binded together with the invisible cord of affection which then results in a friendship. If something is joined to you and close to you it is going to affect your life. If I tied a table to your back (ouch, I know) that table would not only cause you pain, but it will affect the way you walk, what you are able to do, places you can go and so on. It is the same way with our friendships. The friends you keep affect your life. 1 Corinthians 15:33 says, “ Do not be misled, Bad company corrupts good character.” And Proverbs 27:9 “The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.” So in other words, the friends you DECIDE to keep can either have a positive and uplifting effect on your life or a negative one that could cause hurt and ruin your reputation. We have all heard it, “Birds of a feather, flock together!” I ask you today, Who are you flying with that you need to leave behind? I wrote “decide” in caps earlier because we ultimately choose our friends. Everyone does not nor should everyone you encounter throughout your life be considered a “friend”. That does not make you mean or heartless, in no way am I saying be mean and rude to people and tell them, “Leave me alone, I can’t be your friend!”. However, what I am saying is that we must guard our hearts, minds and our lives. Your body and life should be considered a temple, a special place, you are PHENOMENAL, you were made to SHINE. As a result, we do not want someone or anything dimming you. There are some people in your life who might not support or understand your desire to do things differently or make changes in your life. Perhaps this person is consumed with drinking all the time, having sex recreationally, in trouble with the law constantly etc. How will that reflect on you? Most importantly, will their way of living or having fun make you question the decisions you have made? You are more likely to slip back into familiar patterns when you are either lonely, stressed or still surrounded by it.
Also, everyone on your friend list on facebook, or your followers on twitter, instagram etc. are NOT Your friends. You don’t have to MAKE them your friends either. The sad thing about facebook is we can add hundreds of people on our page who become “our friends” but we still struggle with finding someone to talk to when we are feeling down. Why is that? You do have over 500 friends right? That is why it is so important to build and refresh our relationships in real life not just refreshing our page to accept or add another request. Your friends should be your confidants, people who support and encourage you, a shoulder to lean on when you need it, girls who can meet up for dinner and a fun, safe night out in the town. Long story short, your friends should make you look good. If they don’t, you might want to check em’, check YOU and make some changes where necessary. Stay shining Ladies!
Tips to keep your friendships fun and exciting:
(So you’re not out getting drunk and looking for the next boy you want to try to marry lol, so what can you and your girls do to have fun and still be phenomenal?)
- Dress up and go out to dinner at a fancy restaurant once in awhile (if you can’t afford it, go somewhere cheaper #teamOutbackSteakHouse)
- Go to Dave and Busters and play games! Life is short, play, laugh, let the big kid inside of you out!
- Get books together and start a book club. Meet up for coffee or drinks and discuss what you are learning!
- Have sleepovers and movie nights (Taja and I had the best times when we stayed indoors, no money spent and lots of laughs)
- Make crazy, silly videos (lip sync, dance, act …get creative)
- Go to mall/ thrift stores and remain accountable, set a budget and don’t let the spending go beyond what was agreed.
- Always remember that YOU create fun and a good time and that the bond of mutual affection (rather than what you guys are DOING) is key!
Below are some pictures of Taja and I from College and our graduate school days. Our friendship has not always been all roses. There are times when we both get on each other’s nerves, but it has always been one of honesty, patience, support and ACCOUNTABILITY. There were times she told me about myself and I NEEDED IT and vice versa. A real friend encourages you to do better and they will never let you waste your life away without saying and doing something about it. They are not your mother, so they probably won’t force you (and they cannot) to stop doing something or leave a situation, a relationship etc., but you will be aware of their thoughts surrounding your situation.
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